I read about this movie an i weekly magazine under movie review. Basically, the synopsis as summarised by Fandango goes like:
"Smart, beautiful and headstrong, Alexis is the girl of Dustin’s dreams. But after only five weeks of dating, the love-struck Dustin is coming on so strong that Alexis is forced to slow things down – permanently. Devastated and desperate to get her back, Dustin turns to his best friend, Tank, the rebound specialist. A master at seducing – and offending – women, Tank gets hired by freshly dumped guys to take their ex-girlfriends out on the worst date of their lives – an experience so horrible it sends them running gratefully back to their beaus. But when Tank works his magic on Alexis, he ends up meeting the challenge of a lifetime. Alexis is the first girl who knows how to call his bluff, and Tank soon finds himself torn between his loyalty to Dustin and a strange new attraction to his best friend’s girl."
No doubt, Dustin is attracted by the physical appearance of Alexis which have the greatest impact in the beginning of a relationship. This is because the physical appearance is the only thing that we can know from the other person when we first met. Therefore, the relationship between Dustin and Alexis started based on physical appearance but it soon came to an end as the values of the two differs. Dustin was so obsessed with Alexis that he confessed how he loved the way she eats and even ordered steak (he's a vegan)so as to make her love him. Even though it was only five weeks into their relationship, Dustin could not stop himself but to suggest that Alexis and him should live together. All these actions freaked Alexis out as she wants to take things slowly and in addition, a date with Tank "made her realize that she hasn’t really dated that much and she thinks that they should just be friends" (adapted from wikipedia) and as a result, she puts an end to their relationship. This suggests that the two came to a stage in a relationship termed as 'coming apart' where the intense differentiation between them reflects that the relationship has developed too fast and that Alexis is not ready to embark in the new phrase of her life with Dustin.
On the other hand, the relationship between Tank and Alexis occurs rather differently as their feelings for each other developed after they had sex. During their relationship, there was no self disclosure from the side of Tank as Alexis only came to know that Tank goes out with girls as a form of job at her sister's wedding party where a drunkard Dustin made the announcement publicly. The part on self disclosure is important to a relationship because it is a maintenance process where one shares information about him or herself which the other party might not be aware off. As seen in the movie, the consequences of skipping this process in a relationship will result in shock and hurt to the other party and as a result, relational dissolution occurs mainly due to actions that undermine trust. Though Tank did not go out with girls for money when he was with Alexis, the fact that he confessed that was his job had already undermine the trust Alexis had in him, for the fear that the same might apply to her and that their relationship started not because of love but for money.
All in all, this movie actually highlights to us that in order to maintain a relationship, we have to be frank with our partners and let him or her know information about ourselves. Of course the process of getting a relationship started also plays a major role in whether the relationship can proceed on smoothly and that the two parities did not choose the wrong partner.
Pictures were taken from Fandango
6 comments:
Even though the plot is fictional, the interpersonal relationship in it is very much part of our daily lives. I agree with you that we should be truthful to people. But, i feel there are always times when we have to tell a lie or two to make things work out. After all, not everyone is thinks that same way. We have to flexible and evaluate people so that we can react in the best possible way.
Love is never easy, particularly at the start. So guess what happens when you try to kindle a romance by bringing in a third party? "My Best Friend's Girl" is the story of a twisted love triangle.
Interaction with others is called interpersonal communication and it occurs whenever one person interacts with another.
I agree with Huishan that in order to maintain a relationship, we have to be frank with our partners. INTIMACY IN COUPLES should have the following characteristics:
Spontaneity
Self-disclosure
Motivation
Interdependence
Tension and Balance.
Honesty is the way to go!
But sometimes, I think personality plays an important role too. I have learnt in one of my modules that it is very difficult for two very different - eg: one who lives a faster-paced and the other a slower-paced life to live together... Not that it would be impossible for them to be together, it does create conflicts.
I sort of disagree with Kai Siang's view that we have to tell a lie or two to make things work out. Unless the relationship is fragile enough not to withstand truth.
I do not think every relationship is the same, thus one has to adapt and adjust to suit the particular situation of the relationship.
Ideally, two people should be truthful to each other. However, there are situations where the revelation of certain truths is not the best way to go. I feel that sometimes, a person should be given the chance to get to know the other for who they are first, then get the chance to make the choice when the truth is revealed. Just like Batman had said in the movie 'The Dark Knight,' "..they deserve more than the truth. They deserve to have hope..," thus indicating that there are times when the truth is very detrimental and compels us to lie. However, this only applies to very specific cases. Most of the time, truth is the best. After all, we do not want to set out on a relationship built on lies.
this plot shows something that all of us young and old will face at least once in our lifetime. And I believe that we can all concede on the point that love between 2 people or even 3 is never easy .
Basically , we have to understand that there are no 2 people who has the same character , likes and dislikes etc. in this world. That is the challenge of most relationships. To understand and be understood. To know that you and your partner love each other for who the both of you are and not what you all are.
Thus , I agree with Huishan that for a relationship to work , truth is important but what is equally important are also other factors like personality, trust and the ability to compromise.
Of course , like yi ling says , truth is not always the right way to go but I have to also point out that truth usually is the factor that results in trust which in turn builds the relationship. Which is worse ? to tell a 'white lie' only to have to tell an even bigger one in the future to save the relationship or to tell the truth that would only result in short term consequences? Unless , the relationship is too fragile to withstand the truth , I believe that we should always be truthful in our relationships. After all consequences like those in the movie should best be avoided right? We all know how painful a love triangle can be.
i hate to say this, but appearance does play an important role in liking a person.
but gradually, it takes more than that - characters. i can never get along with someone who merely looks good, but i can't click with. relationships are more complicated than looks.
alike the movie :)
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